A nice day at the farm
by Captainfredrickwentworth
Summary: Crack fic written for a prompt challenge. Prompt: Cheating, goat, flowers, watermelon and swimming. The Doctor and Rose are a couple and go for a nice walk in the countryside. They come across a sweet little farm with adorable animals, but as always their day can't ever be peaceful. (Alien possessed animal) This is the weirdest thing I've ever published so...


**This fic was supposed to be posted by the end of February (oops) for a Prompt fic challenge I was participating in at the time.**

**It is very cracky and silly so if you don't like crack don't read it.**

**Prompt: Cheating, flowers, goat, swimming, watermelon (In other words: The most random DW fanfiction I have ever written)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything...except Bob! Bob is mine!**

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The Doctor and Rose walked slowly along the grassy hillside. It had been exactly a month since both of them had admitted their feelings for each other. Oh, and what a month it had been. The Doctor could honesty say that he'd never been happier. Of course there was still the voice nagging away in his head, telling him that Rose would die, but he didn't pay any attention to it. He knew that the voice was trying to help him, but wouldn't he rather live with the memories of times that were than the regrets of times that could have been? The Doctor got to pretend, just for a while, that he was a regular guy in love with a beautiful young woman...and it was absolute bliss.

A farm soon came into view up the top of the hill and they stopped to look down at the TARDIS below. Rose had been slightly nervous when they'd parked it in the dried up river bed, but the Doctor had told her it would be fine. The reason Rose had been nervous however, was due to the fact that only a couple of hundred metres away, a giant dam wall made of logs was blocking the water from cascading down into the valley.

Everything seemed to be going well and Rose thought maybe, just maybe they'd have one day of peace. Of course that all changed as soon as they discovered that one of the goats on the sweet, little farm was possessed by an alien. Needless to say things soon changed from a casual stroll in the countryside.

Rose had rushed off to get something to use against the insane animal, while the Doctor tried to lure it back to the TARDIS with a flower. It was working surprisingly well and the Doctor made a mental note that luring possessed goats with flowers worked and would be handy in the future.

By the time Rose arrived again the goat had managed to pin the Doctor to the ground and was standing somewhat menacingly (for a goat) above him.

Rose chortled. "And what do you call this?!" she called in mock anger. "Doctor, we've been together for a month and you're already cheating on me!"

"What? No-Rose this isn't-I promise I would never...it's a goat, Rose," he stammered, looking up at her with fearful eyes.

"I know," her face broke into a grin, "and you're an alien, now get up would you".

"If you hadn't already noticed," he raised an eyebrow at her "I have a possessed goat on top of me and he doesn't look like he wants to move any time soon".

"He?"

"Yeah he's got a...well that's not important. Did you get a weapon?"

"Yep," Rose picked up a watermelon from the ground.

"And what on Gallifrey are you going to do with that?!"

"Obviously I'm going to smash it on its head!" Rose rolled her eyes. "It worked on that last possessed thingy on planet Karapho-thingy".

"Karapholinzonica? Yeah I suppose it might work".

"Right then," Rose approached the goat that was still glaring down at the Doctor. "Well here goes," she raised the watermelon high above her head and brought it down through the air and onto the top of the goats head.

The goat automatically stumbled and a blue mist flowed out of its mouth and disappeared. Rose helped the Doctor up and examined the goat.

"So is that it? All done yeah?" she asked him.

"Should be," he frowned. "I'll have to run some tests back to the TARDIS to be sure". With that he scooped up the goat and started walking back down the hill, leaving Rose to follow along behind.

Once they were back in the TARDIS the Doctor hooked the goat up to several contraptions that had magically appeared in the console room. Rose watched as he carefully stuck the cords to various parts of the goat's body.

"Is he dead?" she asked quietly.

"No," the Doctor smiled softly up at her. So compassionate she was, his Rose. "He's just sleeping for now, but we'll wake him up later".

"Good," Rose nodded. "I'm gonna go outside while you finish up". With that she was across the room and out the door.

The Doctor finished his research on the goat, and pleased that it was in fact now fine; he collected the cords and released the goat from the binds he'd had to use on him, in case he woke up during the Doctor's analysis.

"Hey Doctor!" came Rose's call from outside. "You're gonna want to have a look at this!"

He rushed outside and walked quickly over to her. "Rose, are you alright".

"Look," she pointed up to the top of the dam wall. "Something tells me the goat is fine Doctor; it's him I'm not so sure about".

He followed her gaze in the direction she had indicated. The man driving the crane was only seconds away from knocking a hole in the wall and flooding the valley.

"Ah," he nodded. "Yes".

"I think the alien moved from inside the goat to inside him when I knocked it on the head," she confessed.

"Poor Steve," the Doctor looked up sadly. "There isn't anything I can do about it. There's no way I can stop it. Pretty soon he's going to get his aim right and smash through that".

"And you're not even going to try?" Rose asked in disbelief.

The Doctor shrugged. "The path the water will take is natural, no one will die. In fact more people will live. The town downstream will be glad for the water to return".

"And what about us?" Rose asked as Steve finally managed to steer the crane into the wall, bursting through, making the water begin to pour out in an enormous tidal wave heading straight for them.

"Weeeeellllll...run!" the Doctor yelled, grabbing her hand and racing back inside the TARDIS.

"Will she be ok with this?" Rose patted one of the coral struts uncertainly.

"Yeah she'll be fine," he grinned. "She's going swimming is all".

"Can we open the doors?" Rose asked excitedly.

"Of course!" he raced over and wrenched open the doors. The water flowed below them. The TARDIS was floating on the now full river.

"This is nice," Rose sighed contentedly.

The Doctor grinned at her. "Whatever floats your goat".

Rose glared at him for a moment before pushing him out of the doors and into the water. He emerged moments later coughing and spluttering.

"Rose Tyler!" he scolded, reaching into the TARDIS and grabbing her ankle.

Rose shrieked and tried desperately to stay inside as the Doctor dragged her into the water with him. After the initial shock of being in the cool water had worn off she relaxed and enjoyed the sensation of the current pulling gently on her.

The Doctor held onto the TARDIS to keep them from being pulled away from it. Of course now that the current had slowed down there wasn't really any need for concern.

"You alright Rose?" he asked.

She lifted her head from against his soaked oxford and smiled. "I most certainly am".

"I love you, Rose," he leant his forehead against hers.

"I love you too, Doctor," she closed the gap between them and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

When the Doctor pulled away he realised that something was pulling on his hair. Looking up he saw the goat looming over him. "Oi!" he swatted it away.

"Right, come on, Rose," he hoisted her back up into the TARDIS. "We better make sure that our friend here hasn't eaten part of the TARDIS.

Rose grinned and patted the goats head fondly. "Can we keep him?"

The Doctor frowned. "Oh, I dunno. What if he eats the TARDIS?"

"He won't," Rose shook her head. "Will you?" she turned to the goat.

The Doctor watched on in amusement as Rose continued to talk with the goat. "What are you calling him?"

Rose glanced up at the Doctor and grinned in triumph of having gotten his permission to keep the animal. "Bob, his name is Bob".

From that day onwards the Doctor and Rose enjoyed many adventures with Bob. He lived with them for many years and even helped them out a couple of times when they were facing life or death situations. The Doctor and Rose loved Bob and even now they remember the day when they first met him with fond smiles on their faces and warm feelings in their hearts.

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**I do apologize to the person who sent in this prompt hoping to see what someone could do with it. If you do eventually see this then 'Here it is!' :D "Sorry about the wait'.**


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